K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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