On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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