Buhtt sex?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm bleeding and have questions
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
