MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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