We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
so much tequila, so little girl.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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