Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
