So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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