Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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