So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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