I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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