TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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