How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
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you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
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Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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