she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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