whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
