like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
