We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
