marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
