I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
