you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
