Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize