just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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