Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
