Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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