Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
