I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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