So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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