He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
