Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
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Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
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and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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