i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Welp...herpes.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
