I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
