Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
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I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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