Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
wanna go halves on a baby?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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