Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
too bad you live with your parents still
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
