That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
