Me. At least after what I've been through.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
