are you so shy because you have an std?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize