i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
They have beer where we have blood.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
