We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
