Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
My liver just had a heart attack.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
