I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
it hurts more in the daytime
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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