Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
