I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
