***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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