my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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