He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize