When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
