I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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