would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
