I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize