we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
