Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
