I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
