I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I need to wash the frat house off of me
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
