In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i believe in u and ur pee
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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