A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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