Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
