i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
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waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
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Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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