Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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