Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
